He stopped at an intersection, panting, rubbing at the twinge in his hamstrings, looking around, though he knew no cars were coming in either direction. Dropping forward at the waist Martin admitted that he was fucking himself up. Dr Leonowsky told him: hurting yourself is an articulation of self-disgust. It helps no one, prevents nothing. This wasn’t a glorious loss of control, he was fooling himself, it was self-harm. Denise Mina
About This Quote

In the poem, Martin is frustrated with himself for his inability to keep going after hurting himself. He is worried that his lack of control over his body will prevent him from being the best version of himself. However, this is not true. If he can accept his weakness and acknowledge that he can't do anything about it, then he can embrace it and progress from there.

He isn't a victim of his own lack of control, but a leader of his own strength. This shows us how we all have weaknesses, but the greatest heroes are those who accept them and move forward.

Source: Gods And Beasts

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